The aggressive man feels that his needs are more important than the needs of the other. He might have short term wins but ultimately sets himself up for retaliation.
The Submissive man thinks that the other person’s needs are more important than his. He lives the life of a victim and is often treated as a door mat.
The assertive man knows that his needs are as important as that of the other and both can be met. He gets win-win outcomes and forges enduring alliances.
It is important to learn to talk assertively. It is an important skill which will help you rise without trampling others.
|A)||Use ‘YOU’ Statements
e.g. – You embarrassed me in front of others.
e.g. – You always interrupt me.
|Use ‘I’ Statements
e.g. − I felt embarrassed when you said that in front of others.
e.g. – I would like to talk without interruption.
e.g. − This is a lousy report.
e.g. – If you don’t change your attitude you will be in trouble.
|Give Factual Descriptions
e.g. − In your report the actions points are missing. Also some statistics like population of the area, the division it comes under etc. are incorrect. Please correct and pay greater attention to detail in future.
e.g. − If you don’t send your reports on time I will need to take disciplinary action against you.
e.g. − The only sensible strategy is to go to the higher ups.
|Express thoughts, opinions and feelings reflecting ownership.
e.g. − I believe going to the higher ups is the best policy.
|D)||Be dictatorial or tentative while giving orders
e.g. − Why don’t you join me tomorrow for field work
e.g. − Would you mind giving your analysis.
Say You should…..
Say you have to…
|Use direct requests/directives/commands
e.g. − Will you please/please join me for field work tomorrow.
e.g. − Will you please/please give your analysis
Say Please do this….
Say Have this done…